Ah yes, the familiar jumper cable attached to my ear. As I made my tea this Friday morning, the pink morning clouds airbrushed on the blue canvas sky, I felt the familiar jolt as the second jumper cable tapped a warning. The most uncomfortable silence followed as I paused each time the cable tapped. Would I lose it? Should I to drop everything in fear? I defy you, electricity.
There’s something that everyone with epilepsy and loving bystanders should know.
Stress is not your friend.
I continued to hurry out to dutifully watch the kiln. Ody called from the living room, annoyed, “You really, really have to watch that right now...”
My heart rate escalated and I searched for ways to multitask. Fill teapot while reaching for the rice milk and stevia to poor in my awaiting mug and grab Ody’s lunch. Move. Go.
“You’ve got to get out there...” Impatience emanated from the next room.
Zzap! ...That’s o.k., if I can just get everything ready and be sitting quietly in front of my computer, relaxed the seizures will subside and...”
“Cause this is the most crucial time when the flame gets hot too fast and you really need to get out there...”
Another thing about epilepsy for me is that I have to eat in the morning. I put some sugar under my tongue quickly. Maybe it would diffuse into my bloodstream and put an end to the looming seizure. Pushing the limits of a seizure is like poking an enormous, violent sleeping beast over and over.
“Can you just help me be calm??” I pushed down with my hands as if straining to pull myself up onto a pedestal. “I’m feeling shaky.” Myoclonis, the jumper cables, is my warning sign - miniature seizures. Fear accompanies each one because at any moment, the second cable could make a solid clamp sending me to the floor. There even the most primitive part of my brain on which we all depend on for oxygen would be halted for the episode.
“Well, then maybe we shouldn’t do this today.”
“No.” The hell I’m gonna stop. I get up a few hours early and it tips me into thrashing unconsciousness?? “I’m fine.”
(Not entirely the truth, but I obviously don’t like to be limited by my epilepsy)
People say, “Do seizures do any damage to the brain?” A better question is, “Are you healthy enough to fix the damage that has occurred?”
Finally, I had my tea, my bowl of rice and cinnamon, Ody was out the door (with one last warning) to go to work and leave his weeks of effort, (as well as mine), in the kiln under my seemingly flighty care.
Now I fight to keep the flame from going out and from it passing the 170 degree mark at 8:00. I made it.
The 6-week elimination diet was toughest at events. No alcohol, chips or even homemade corn tortillas makes people feel awkward. Social events involve eating and drinking. They question your sanity really. How could you eat just vegetables, fruits and meat?? No breads or anything to wrap things in. We wrapped our burgers in lettuce.
We both felt better on the diet. Two main contributors were dairy and wheat. Dairy is the repercussion of nursing a cow all my life. It’s no wonder my grandma has diverticuli – small outpouchings in her intestines caused by a lifetime of straining on the toilet. That one is in the genes. Wheat is a foggier line, but it’s apparent when I try to study. Durrrrrr…. Good thing I added it in after the board exams. We’ve gotten lazy since the 6 weeks and have become wine conessuers via youtube instruction on wine tasting.
More on that later. Moral of today, however, is that when you’re around someone with epilepsy, try not to keep things chill.
